Coyote!

There's nothing more eye-opening than a dumbell falling off a bench and crushing your little toe. As this event unfolded in Monday's weight training class, my responded was inevitable--I laughed. Laughter is the cure for these (mis)adventures in my life. And I wish I could say that Monday's (mis)adventure opened my eyes to a life-epiphany, but I was more concerned about my offended appendage and damaged pride at the time. Upon reflection, my totem animal could have chosen a different (and less painful) way to make his presence known, but that wouldn't be in his character or mine. My Totem is known to learn his lessons the hard (painful!) way, and he teaches his lessons through wisdom found in folly. Yes, I got pranked by my totem animal. But sore toe aside, I learned that you should set dumbells down perpendicular on a bench, and that my project would be a lot easier because my totem animal had to be a coyote.

The weight training room wasn’t where my totem animal and I first met. I actually had a fascination with wolves when I was younger, my clan totem, so pictures of coyotes found their way into my life due to the similarity of features. His physical presence actually came as a shadow animal at first.

Many nights on my grandparents’ ranch echoed with the haunting sound of the coyotes’ howl. I would shiver in bed listening to them and knowing they were responsible for the death of some of our barn cats. It makes sense that I feared them at my grandparents’ ranch considering the trouble the “big girls” would get into and then blame the “babies”. (The coyote as a shadow animal is a trickster known for his deceptive and manipulative ways.) My older sister, younger sister, cousin and I were the “big girls” that found many outlets for our mischievous ways at the sprawling ranch, but we found our scapegoats in the group we callously labeled “the babies” which included my youngest sister and two younger cousins. Though we weren’t mean to them all the time, we deceived and manipulated enough for me to fear the coyote as my shadow animal. After all, deception and manipulation are his specialty.

The coyote is no longer my shadow totem as I’ve grown out of the role of childish and cruel sibling. My next personal encounter with him would be at a different time of day, a very different part of the country, and a different time of my life. As I mentioned briefly in my road map, I embarked on a life altering journey across the United States on a bicycle two summers ago. One day while we were in Alaska, I found myself riding alone in a woodsy area. Looking up ahead I noticed something on the side of the road. I continued out of a mixture of curiosity and necessity until I came close enough to realize it was a coyote standing just where the road and the grass met. I approached cautiously, but felt no threat considering he merely looked at me. My fanciful mind jumped at possibilities and waited for something to happen, but he just continued to watch me. Even after I passed and looked back, he never moved. The friend following me about a mile back said she didn’t see him when she went by. I can't say that moment in time changed my life from then on, but it did make an impression on me. It made me wonder if it meant anything. The coyote’s role as a spirit guide is to draw attention to a certain aspect of your life or to teach you a lesson. I still can’t say for certain why he showed himself to me that day, but the more I learn about him, the better chance I have at understanding.

One theory to explain a coyote’s presence says, “you must look at something you have been avoiding. They are mirrors for the lessons we must learn so we are able to walk a good sacred road. The mirror will be held up incessantly until we finally get the picture.[i]“ If this were the reason I saw the coyote, what had I been avoiding?Others say the coyote wants to you laugh at your mistakes, or he wants to teach you a lesson. But my mind didn’t contemplate his purpose for long because, like the coyote, I’m easily distracted my mind veered to think about something else.

Animal humanities reunited me with my totem animal. The animal quest was only semi-successful considering my mind jumped from different places as if I were thrown into a broken time machine that processed “random” every few seconds. Even my conversation with my coyote spirit was interrupted with my ever-shifting focus. But my coyote understood because he is easily bored and vastly curious as well—he didn’t want to stick around and chat for too long either. And with our newly formed bond, I can embrace the coyote medicine that "includes understanding that all things are sacred and that yet nothing is sacred, teaching us that only when all masks have fallen will we connect with the source, illumination, stealth, intelligence, singing humans into being, childhood trust in truth, teaching us how to raise our young, they bring rain, give one the ability to laugh at one’s own mistakes, placing the North Star, shape-shifting, teaching balance between risk and safety, trickster, devilment, cunning, wisdom, folly.[i]"

Most totem animals do not have negative reputations because their descriptions focus only on their redeeming qualities. Coyotes, on the other hand, are a paradoxical mixture of wise sage and hapless fool. Like the coyote, I'm smart but I get myself into trouble, I trust others but can be gullible, I learn from my mistakes but I may repeat them. Basically, I'm human. The same parallel exists in traditional oral literature of Native Americans where the coyote "represent[s] the First People, members of a mythic race who first populated our world and lived before humans existed. The First People had tremendous powers and created all we know in the world, but they were--like us--capable of being brave or cowardly, conservative or innovative, wise or stupid.[ii]" As I walk through life with my coyote totem, he shows me both sides that make up my whole. By being aware of my virtues and faults, I can strive to live with balance.

The idea of balancing two sides reoccurs with coyotes. They teach you to laugh at your mistakes, balance necessary work and child-like pleasure, and live with a healthy mixture of comedy and drama. My life is an endless testing of the scale. The coyote has taught me that it only takes a little laughter to balance the scale after a (mis)adventure or mistake. I laughed after unintentionally inflicting bodily harm on myself after all. I've mastered the balance act of laughing at my mistakes as well as keeping enough comedy vs drama in my life, however, I still look to his guidance to help me balance work and pleasure. I either overload my "work" side of the scale or my "pleasure" side. And I discover the consequences the hard way whether it's losing touch with friends as I become a human hermit or fall behind in school work as I become a social butterfly. The coyote carries these life lessons that are crucial to growth and change, but his unorthodox way of teaching makes him unique.

A perfect example of learning the hard way, repeating mistakes, and mixing a combination of comedy and drama in life is Wile E Coyote from Looney Tunes. He’s mischievous in his ever persistent pursuit of the roadrunner, he gets hurt all the time, he trusts too easily, and he embodies the perfect combination of drama in pursuit and comedy in failures. And even though I am accident prone like Wile E, my foot did not swell up comically large and red like our cartoon coyote’s.

Here’s a short video from Wile E Coyote to remind us to laugh at our disasters.

Wile E Coyote is an exaggerated version of the real coyote. The name “coyote” comes from the animal's Aztec name—coyotl.[iii] Coyotes run in packs or as loners, roam either day or night and eat nearly anything—fresh meat, carrion, insects, fruits and vegetables. They have been known to pass over meat in favor of fresh fruits and berries. They have an insatiable sweet tooth (I agree), which will lead them to raid melon fields and orchards. Despite this diverse appetite, coyotes primarily feed on rabbits, birds, seeds, insects, fish and snakes. They may also stalk larger prey such as domestic sheep, deer and pronghorns. Their wide range of appetite helps them do what they do best—survive. A toss up for their theme song came up between “I’m a survivor” by Destiny’s Child and “Tubthumping” by Chumbawumba. The first is obvious, but the line, “I get knocked down, but I get up again—you’re never going to keep me down” shows the appropriateness of the second. So with my totem animal’s help, I will be able to survive what comes my way and adapt to any situation I find myself in.

Meeting my totem animal is eye opening to who I am as well as empowering to who I can be. With the coyote by my side, I have faith that “I’ll get back up again” because “I’m a survivor.”

Coyote Woman

Word count: 1585

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i (see attached bibliography)

Back to our Roots

If you ever wondered how that big blue off-campus dorm got the name Dobie, or why J. Frank Dobie’s name keeps popping up around campus, look no further than his writings about longhorns and mustangs. As I read his impressions of the two animals, it felt like I was reading about Texans. And I don’t mean the watered down version of us today—I thought about the early inhabitants. Dobie describes the longhorns as survivors against ranchers, weather, nature, etc. His story about Sancho might as well have been the description of the first Texan: Starts out orphaned and alone (like our lone star state), brought up on tamales (spice!), mesquite beans, Mexican sugar, and feels a tie to the land he grew up on. Dobie says in Longhorns, “He was a drifter at times; he ranged far and could walk to the end of the world; but the Longhorn was also a home lover and a persistent returner to his querencia, as the vaquero language calls the place where an animal is born or to which he shows a strong attachment. (258)” Sancho’s story was about going back to his roots no matter what stood in his way. Despite the long cattle drive that took him all the way to Wyoming, he found his way back to his home, his spicy food, and his shade under the mesquite tree.

Here is a picture of mesquite trees. They are all over my grandparents’ ranch.

Sancho and I share one thing in common: we both have our own querencia. Granted I feel certain ties to my Houston home of 14yrs, but my grandparents’ ranch holds tighter ties. Like longhorns and other animals, I feel that people feel connected to places or things from their childhood. We all have our own querencia. I can list many songs, movies, and books that hold a special place in my heart, but nature is the most powerful connection that compels me to return. We connect better to the living whether it be a person (especially family), a pet, or nature--it’s why we always preferred a real puppy versus a stuffed dog. My grandparents’ ranch is alive with mesquite trees, typical Southern Texas fried grass, meandering cows, and all sorts of critters that I’ve known since childhood. Naturally, this means I feel compelled to return to the ranch when I’ve been driven away and feel lost in the herds of classes being pushed along to a “higher purpose.” There’s comfort in the familiar, and a certain peace when you’re where (or around what) you’re tied to. Thinking about it literally, it’s as if we’re on a tether attached to our querencia ; it stretches as we travel away, but we only feel the relief of the constant tug when we’re back to where it’s tied to. What enables this invisible tether work is having the freedom to return.

And we all know how important freedom is for Texas. We celebrate Independence Day. We were our own country for a while. Before the booming population of Texas, the inhabitants valued the open prairies as a freedom to roam. Dobie’s descriptions of longhorns like Sancho and Table Top are reflections of the original Texans who value the freedom to return to the land they are tied to. The perseverance demonstrated by these animals is inspiring. Dobie says, “The cattle I am thinking of made their reputations in fierce, hardy, persistent, resourceful, daring efforts to maintain freedom.” 2 It is no wonder that our university and state look to these animals for guidance when Dobie says of them, “Instead of being outside the law, they followed the law of the wild, the stark give-me-liberty-or-give-me-death law against tyranny.(266)”

The same admiration is seen for mustangs when Dobie says, “The true conceiver [of mustangs] must be a true lover of freedom—a person who yearns to extend freedom to all life.(314)” Mustangs are also survivors, but more importantly, they are the most magnificent in their wild form. They embody the freedom and liberty our state prizes. And when mustangs are caught and broken, they lose their majesty. I can’t help but be reminded of another Disney movie called Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron when Dobie says, “The look of a caged eagle was still in his eyes” when describing a broken mustang. The movie’s message stuck with me as much as Dobie’s descriptions of mustangs as they both deal with the transformation of the majestic wild horse to the broken, fenced one.

Here’s a picture that sums up the movie:

His relationship with his mother (querencia), run-ins with humans, escape from train work, love, and the Native Americans

Short summary for those who haven’t seen it: The story is about a horse that leads a group of mustangs, but is caught by humans. He overcomes many obstacles to regain his freedom and return home such as being a work horse, living with Native Americans, and surviving the training of an army horse.

The eagle in his eyes quote reminds me of the symbolism of freedom in the movie. The main character’s favorite pastime is to race the eagle in wide open prairies, so once he is captured, you often see him reminisce on the memory. The horse endures all odds to return to his querencia. The mustangs as well as humans and longhorns feel the connection because “only the sense of being in place gives natural horse or natural man contentment.(318)”

Dobie mentions the problem with fencing in horses and man becoming more mechanized. The movie is a great example of all that obstructed the mustangs. It may seem silly because it’s animated, but the movie is informative, inspiring, and it helps you understand the value of freedom.

There are many scenes I’d love to use, but this one sums up the “breaking” of the horse. In it, our main character has just been captured and is being taken in to the army to be broken. You’ll see the eagle (his freedom) slipping away, and especially take note of his reaction once he comes into the barracks. The lyrics are also worth paying attention to.

Over all, Dobie’s writing about the mustangs and longhorns is eye opening in what matters most when it comes to places like Texas. These animals take us back to our roots because they are our roots.

One thing I realized as I was looking for the most appropriate scene in the movie was how affected I was watching this fictional story. It reminds me of Hemingway's discussion of the two types of people in the world. In Death in the Afternoon, he says, "people may possibly be divided into two general groups; those who...identify themselves with, that is, place themselves in position of animals, and those who identify themselves with human beings.(5)" Hemingway believes the first type to be more capable of hurting humans because of their ability to "switch shoes" with animals. Even though I understand where he is coming from, I have to disagree because I think there is another category. Because even if someone does not readily identify with animals, they can empathize with them despite having no motivating attachment. For example, I did not know the animals in Earthlings personally, and I did not put myself in their place, but I immediately felt a surge of sadness anyway. My thoughts were more along the lines of they wouldn't be doing this if these animals were people. Holocaust and other historical events aside, the breeding, capturing, and destruction of humans wouldn't be tolerated. And this reaction gives a third category to Hemingway's thoughts because some people identify with humans, but they also can see animals as having human-like characteristics. In short, as we've all heard a hundred times, animals are people too.